


Autassassinophilia

by unraveledwords



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Gore, Guillermo is just horny for being murdered yall, Implied Necrophilia, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26415316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unraveledwords/pseuds/unraveledwords
Summary: Autassassinophilia: is a paraphilia in which a person is sexually aroused by the risk of being killed. The fetish may overlap with some other fetishes that risk one's life, such as those involving drowning, choking, or being violently murdered by your master.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 18
Kudos: 35





	Autassassinophilia

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Nandermo discord for this delightful idea. And especially @poppy_plant for encouraging me to start a new fic when my wips are staring at me.

Guillermo peered out into the busy New York street from where he was tucked into an alley. His breath came in little white puffs, and he rubbed his hands together to try to reclaim some circulation from the frigid November evening. A couple walked by giggling to themselves. No good, Guillermo thought, one may try to get help while the other is eaten. A man walked by yelling into a cell phone about what sounded like, stock numbers maybe? Also a no go, he’d be too hard to distract right now. Next was a nun and like, the no there was so obvious. Guillermo sighed to himself, the self-imposed pressure of finding Nandor the perfect meal weighing heavy on his shoulders.

Finally Guillermo spotted an ideal victim. A young man in a Call of Duty shirt, dragging his feet and his eyes on the pavement in front of him. Yeah that would do. Guillermo obviously couldn’t be sure but the man’s gait made him wonder if maybe he’d found a virgin for his master this evening. He smiled at the thought before pushing himself out of the shadows.

“Excuse me, um hey? Look man, I, uh, really need your help,” Guillermo said pitifully, painting on a look of pure distress, “My car’s got a flat, and I can’t figure out how to work the jack, do you think you could just spare a minute to help me?”

The man smiled lasciviously, and Guillermo fought the urge to roll his eyes, “Why don’t you just come back to my place for the night. We could call a tow in the morning.”

“I mean that does sound pretty good,” Guillermo answered, revulsion running through him as he bit his lip and eyed the man through his lashes, “But it's my mom’s car, I have to get it back tonight. But if you help me...maybe…”

That seemed good enough for the man who smiled like he was the predator here. “Sure thing, bud, lets go.”

Guillermo turned back to the alley, and the man followed. God, this guy’s an idiot, why would my car be in the alley, he thought. He heard the man gasp as Nandor stepped out from the darkness.

Guillermo loved this part. Nandor, in all his regal splendor, was enough to shock the man with just his beauty and stature. Nandor smiled warmly, holding out a hand in welcome, “I see you have found me a good one tonight, Guillermo.”

“Thank you, master,” Guillermo answered, a blush creeping into his cheeks at the depraved praise.

The man however was not pleased. He’d seen Nandor’s fangs glint in the paltry light and was obviously smarter than Guillermo had initially thought. Guillermo watched as he tried to run but the fear glued him to the spot. Nandor advanced on him in a second.

“I would not try to run if I were you. You will not get away, don’t waste your strength,” Nandor said smoothly, running a hand down the man’s cheek.

“What the fuck dude?” the man stammered out, and Guillermo felt his own pulse pick up at the man’s palpable fear.

“Do not be afraid, this will be over for you very quickly,” Nandor cooed, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist. Guillermo had assumed Nandor was in one of these moods tonight based on how he’d been pacing the house in frustration prior to their hunt. It wasn’t unusual for Nandor to play with his food, and Guillermo swallowed back bile as he watched Nandor embrace the man, carding fingers through his short hair.

What Guillermo didn’t see coming was Nandor leaning in to kiss the man passionately. The man melted into the kiss, and Guillermo kicked himself for finding someone so traditionally attractive. He felt conflicting emotions of disgust and arousal as he watched Nandor lick into the man’s mouth, his hands digging into the man’s ass cheeks.

And the switch flipped. Guillermo heard a growl rip from deep inside Nandor as he released the man from their kiss. The flash of his face that Guillermo saw before Nandor sank his teeth into the man’s neck betrayed the beast he truly was. Guillermo knew Nandor didn’t like him to watch, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Nandor bit down hard, ripping a chunk of viscera from the man’s neck and spitting it to the ground. The man glanced over at the pile of his own skin and screamed before going limp in Nandor’s arms. Nandor bit down again, and Guillermo saw Nandor’s hips jerk against the dying man.

That was all he could take, and he felt his cock twitch as it filled fast enough to make him dizzy. Knowing Nandor wouldn’t notice in the slightest, Guillermo pressed the heel of his hand against himself, a whimper escaping him. Nandor pulled back to roar in victory, and Guillermo heard the man’s neck snap when Nandor jerked his head to gain access to the other side of his neck. His eyes were wild, blood smearing his teeth and beard. Guillermo bit his lip at the way Nandor’s eyes flashed inhumanely yellow, his hips still driving against the body in his arms.

Guillermo palmed himself as he watched Nandor continue to feed. He loved the slurping sounds Nandor made as he drank deep, and Guillermo moaned quietly when he saw Nandor’s tongue lave out over the man’s neck before digging his fangs in again.

Nandor’s head jerked up at that, “Guillermo, what is wrong with you? Your job here is finished, go home.”

Guillermo shivered as Nandor’s murderous eyes burned holes into him and nodded sadly before turning on his heel.

What was wrong with him? It seemed logical enough he’d always enjoyed watching his housemates kill. He was daydreaming about that being him some day after all. But as he’d grown to know Nandor and his unrequited affection for the vampire had grown, these perfectly logical thoughts had morphed into something much more sinister.

Nandor feeding and Nandor normally were like two completely different people. Normal Nandor was cartoonishly over the top; Guillermo could barely take him seriously at the best of times. But Nandor feeding was a demon incarnate. His already imposing frame always seemed somewhat bigger, more terrifying. Guillermo could barely admit it to himself but the grotesque shade his face took when he was about to kill sent shivers down his spine. And the sounds he would make. Guillermo wondered if Nandor knew the way he purred and moaned as he tore his victims apart. And he did tear them apart. Nandor never seemed satisfied with just sucking a victim’s blood; he always took it a step further. Guillermo had become intimately familiar with the sound of bones snapping, and he bit his lip as he remembered a time Nandor had torn an arm off one victim, throwing it across the room where it hit the wall with a sickly smack.

Yes, Nandor was absolutely vicious when it came to killing. Guillermo looked down at his still present hard on and chastised himself. He shouldn’t feel his dick jump at the way Nandor turned into a nightmarish monster in the blink of an eye. But, he thought in his own defense, there was a poetic juxtaposition to it. Ridiculous, pompous Nandor distilled into pure bloodthirsty instinct. Another whimper escaped him at the thought as he arrived back at the house, turning the key in the door with shaking hands.

He pulled his sweater down in a vain attempt to cover his erection, peering into the foyer and sighing in relief as he saw it empty. He scrambled to his room and threw himself facedown on the bed. He knew he had some reprieve since Nandor looked like he was going to take his time with the corpse of the man Guillermo had found for him. Normally it thrilled Guillermo to find something delectable for his master, and he tried to take solace in a job well down. But as his cock strained against the bed, all he could feel was envy.

And what the hell was the thrusting about anyway? Sure he’d seen Nandor seduce victims before, grabbing a handful of an ample chest or kissing at their necks before killing them. But the kiss kept replaying itself in Guillermo’s head. It was bad enough how often he’d thought about Nandor killing him; now there was a completely new angle for him to think about.

He rolled over and cupped himself as the thought of Nandor kissing him like that ran through his mind unbidden. The idea of Nandor holding him close, groping at him as he ravished his mouth before he stole Guillermo’s life. Guillermo groaned and undid his khakis as quickly as he could with his still shaking hands. He pulled his thick cock out and stroked experimentally. What about Nandor slamming him against a wall and grinding against him as he growled in that particular feral tone that made the hair on the back of Guillermo’s neck stand up, he thought. He watched precum drip from his tip and moaned. He continued to stroke himself in a teasingly slow pace and thought about the way Nandor’s eyes would flash yellow and his pupils would dilate as he considered the brutal way in which he was going to murder his beloved familar.

He thought about Nandor grabbing him by the arm and hearing the sound of his bones crunch under his hand. Thought about Nandor clawing down his back, tearing through his clothes and taking skin with it. Nandor shoving him to the ground to loom over him before sinking those beautiful fangs into Guillermo’s yielding flesh.

Guillermo sped up his hand as his breathing picked up. He panted at the thought of Nandor telling him how delicious his virgin blood would taste, savouring the idea of how condescending and sweet Nandor could make that sound.

 _You will die a virgin, Guillermo,_ he imagined Nandor saying to him, faux apology in his voice. He thought about Nandor telling him how pitiful and pathetic it was that he’d never been with anyone. Guillermo practically screamed at the thought of Nandor making fun of him for getting hard as he prepared him for death. _Really Guillermo I knew you were a pervert, but what the fuck is this shit?_

Guillermo fucked up into his own hand, sweat beading along his hairline as he pulled desperately at his cock. God, he thought, what if Nandor was sweet to him the whole time? Tenderly turning his face in his hand to expose Guillermo’s sensitive flesh. Would Nandor stop to watch the life fade from Guillermo's eyes? Would he hold a hand to his chest as his heart thumped its last beats? Guillermo imagined Nandor moaning lewdly as he watched Guillermo gasp his last breath, and he came messily over his hand.

In the afterglow, Guillermo frowned at himself, looking down at the sticky mess covering his pants and the hem of his sweater. There was nothing normal about getting off to the thought of being gently murdered, and he knew it. Before he could berate himself any further, he heard the door open, and he shot up to change as quickly as he could. Nandor would be exhausted and would want to be put to coffin immediately. Guillermo squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled on a fresh sweater and prayed Nandor wouldn’t notice he’d changed. He had no idea what he’d tell Nandor.

He emerged from behind the curtain of his room to see Nandor smiling blissfully at him, “You did very well tonight, Guillermo.”

“Thank you master. I'm glad you enjoyed it.” Guillermo wished he meant it.


End file.
